F^RICE 15 CENTS 



PS 3531 
.0953 
U6 
1918 

Copy 1 Uncertain Silas 



H. P. Powell 




Successful Rural Plays 

A Strong List From Which to Select Your 
Next Play 

FARM FOLKS. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
LEWIS Tubes. For five male and six female characters. Time 
of playing, two hours and a half. One simple exterior, two 
easy interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Flora Goodwin, a 
farmer's daughter, is engaged to Philip Burleigh, a young New 
Yorker. Philip's mother wants him to marry a society woman, 
and by falsehoods makes Flora believe Philip does not love her. 
Dave Weston, who wants Flora himself, helps the deception by 
intercepting a letter from Philip to Flora. She agrees to marry 
Dave, but on the eve of their marriage Dave confesses, Philip 
learns the truth, and he and Flora are reunited. It is a simple 
plot, but full of speeches and situations that sway an audience 
alternately to tears and to laughter. Price, 25 cents. 

HOME TIES. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
Lewis Tubes. Characters, four male, five female. Plays two 
hours and a half. Scene, a simple interior — same for all four 
acts. Costumes, modern. One of the strongest plays Mr. Tubbs 
has written. Martin Winn's wife left him when his daughter 
Ruth was a baby. Harold Vincent, the nephew and adopted son 
of the man who has wronged Martin, makes love to Ruth Winn. 
She is also loved by Len Everett, a prosperous young farmer. 
When Martin discovers who Harold is, he orders him to leave 
Ruth. Harold, who does not love sincerely, yields. Ruth dis- 
covers she loves Len, but thinks she has lost him also. Then 
he comes back, and Ruth finds her happiness. Price 25 cents. 

THE OLD NEW^ HAMPSHIRE HOME. A New 

England Drama in Three Acts, by Fra.mk Dumont. For seven 
males and four females. Time, two hours and a half. Costumes, 
modern. A play with a strong heart interest and pathos, yet rich 
in humor. Easy to act and very effective. A rural drama of 
the "Old Homstead" and "Way Down East" type. Two ex- 
terior scenes, one interior, all easy to set. Full of strong sit- 
uations and delightfully humorous passages. The kind of a play 
everybody understands and likes. Price, 25 cents. 

THE OLD DAIRY HOMESTEAD. A Rural Comedy 
in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For five males and four 
females. Time, two hours. Rural costumes. Scenes rural ex- 
terior and interior. An adventurer obtains a large sum of money 
from a farm house through the intimidation of the farmer's 
niece, whose husband he claims to be. Her escapes from the 
wiles of the villain and his female accomplice are both starting 
and novel. Price, 15 cents. 

A WHITE MOUNTAIN BOY. A Strong Melodrama in 
Five Acts, by Charles Townsend. For seven males and four 
females, and three supers. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. 
One exterior, three interiors. Costumes easy. The hero, a 
country lad, twice saves the life of a banker's daughter, which 
results in their betrothal. A scoundrelly clerk has the banker 
in his power, but the White Mountain boy finds a way to check- 
mate his schemes, saves the banker, and wins the girl. Price 
15 cents. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 



Uncertain Silas 

A Rural Comedy in 0?ie Act 



By 
H. P. POWELL 

Author of "You're //," etc. 




PHILADELPHIA 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

I 9 I 8 



f5353| 



Copyright 19^18 by The Penn Publishing Compant 



MAY 23 1918 

Uncertain Silas 

0)01.0 49668 



Uncertain Silas 



CHARACTERS 



Silas Sorghum, a rustic swain, whose affections are finnly 

glued to — 
Susan Sweet, 7vhose star is mome?itarily eclipsed by — 
YsoBEL Le Clair, a stylish and very transient sununer 

boarder of — 
Ma Sweet, Susan' s mother, who gives Cupid what help he 

needs. 

Time of Playing. — Twenty-five minutes. 



STORY OF THE PLAY 

Silas Sorghum is sure he loves Susan better than 
anything in the world, and Susan believes that " no 
knife can cut our love in two." But Ma Sweet has 
her opinion of Silas. " 'Tain't knives that cut love^ — • 
it's another woman." When the new summer boarder, 
Ysobel Le Clair, arrives Silas is swept off his feet. He 
agrees to take her riding in his automobile. " I hate 
to take Susan's beau, but I've got to get something for 
my money." While Ysobel is dressing, Silas falls 
asleep, and Ma Sweet dusts his face and feet with 
flour. Ysobel is frightened. " Don't you dare touch 
me, you country bumpkin." Silas' eyes are opened. 
" I mistrusted her from the first. Let's get married, 
Susan." 



COSTUMES, ETC. 

Silas. About twenty-live. At first entrance wears 
overalls, cotton shirt, heavy shoes or high boots, straw 
hat, and carries pitchfork. Quick change to a " store 
suit," a little small for him, celluloid collar, patent 
four-in-hand of some bright color, put on crooked, 
tan derby hat, a little small, and tan shoes, also too 
small. 

Susan. About twenty. Calico or simple white 
dress, with apron. She should be pretty, but " coun- 
trified " in costume and manner. 

Ma Sweet. About fifty. A brisk, determined 
woman, used to bossing men. Wears calico working 
dress and apron. Sleeves rolled up. Wears spectacles. 
Hair iron gray. 

YsoBEL Le Claire. About twenty-five. A typical 
smartly dressed city shop girl. She wears hat and 
white summer dress on first entrance, gloves, parasol, 
etc., and carries suit-case. At second entrance wears 
motor hat and coat. 



PROPERTIES 



For Silas. Pitchfork. 
For Susan. Broom. 
For Ysobel. Suit-case. 

For Ma Sweet. Pan of peeled potatoes; knife; 
sifter with a little flour. 



SCENE PLOT 

This play may have either an interior or an exterior 
, setting, as follows : 

If Interior. Scene. — Sitting-room of Ma Sweet's 
house. Door up c. leads to porch. Door l. leads to 
bedrooms. Door r. leads to kitchen. Windows also 
at back if desired. Couch up r. Chair down R. 
Table and chairs down l. Other furnishings to make 
a comfortable country room. The directions in the 
play for exits and entrances are arranged for this in- 
terior setting. With very slight changes, however, 
they will serve equally well for the exterior setting. 

Exterior Setting. Scene. — Back porch and yard 
of Ma Sweet's house. Porch and entrance to house at 
L. Fence at back and gate up c. A hammock or 
rather couch up R. Rustic bench or chair down r. 
Bench with pail and dipper down l. Yard has plants, 
rose-bushes, etc. 



Uncertain Silas 



SCENE. — Ma Sweet's sitling-room (or yard. See 
Scene Plot, page ^). Etitrances r., l., and c. 

(Susan discovered sweeping at l. and Immniing to 
herself. Silas enters, c, with pitchfork over his 
shoulder.) 

Silas. 'Lo, Susan ! 
Susan. How be you, Silas? 

(Goes on sweeping, trying to hide embarrassment.) 

Silas. I'm right peart, I reckon. How be you? 

{Comes to her.) 

Susan. I'm tol'able, I thank you — how be you? — 
oh, I asked you that already, didn't I ? 

(Susan comes down l. c. Silas follozvs. She looks 
up at Silas shyly. He is equally embarrassed, and 
they both switch themselves coyly. Their fingers 
meet and intertwine, whereupon their embarrass- 
ment increases.) 

Silas. Oh, Susan? 

Susan. What is it, Silas? 

Silas. Do you — do you — like me? 

Susan. Indeed I do, Silas, {Painful pause.) Do 
you — do you — like me? 

Silas {emphatically). You betchuh ! {Another 
embarrassed silence ensues; this time Silas' arm finds 
its way round Susan's waist and her head nestles on 
his shoidder. He still holds fork and she holds 
broom.) Oh, Susan? 

7 



5 UNCERTAIN SILAS 

Susan. What is it, Silas? 
Silas. Do you — do you — do — you — love me ? 
Susan {very softly). Yes, Silas. Do you — do 
you — do — you — love me? 

Silas {emphatically). You betchuh ! 

{More silence. Silas drops pitchfork and his other 
arm goes around Susan's waist. She drops her 
broom. Her arm steals around his neck and their 
lips meet. Ma Sweet enters from door r. and 
surveys them sourly.) 

Ma {thunderingly) . Silas Sorghum, you quit wras- 
slin' with my daughter. {In consternation, Silas and 
Susan break azvay. Susan gets her broom and starts 
sweeping furiously but aimlessly, down r., and Silas 
trips and sits down on the pitchfork, arising hurriedly, 
and going l. Ma comes c. and regards him sternly.) 
You rain-ruined stack of alfalfa! Whadda ye mean 
coming and taking my daughter's mind off'n her chores 
with your gum-rubbin', jiu jitsu exercises? 

Silas {abashed). Yes'm ! 

Ma {to Susan). Ain't you got no more pride than 
to let this imitation of a worm do his wrigglin' around 
you? Where's your suffragette blood, anyways? 

Susan {staunchly). I ain't got no suffragette 
blood, and Silas ain't no worm, and I love him and 
he loves me better'n anything in the world, don't you, 
Si? 

Silas. You betchuh ! 

Ma {mocking). You betchuh! Rats — you're just 
as bad as any of them. You change girls oftener than 
you change socks. 

Silas. 'Tain't so ; I change socks every month. 

Susan. Si says " no knife can cut our love in two." 

Ma. 'Tain't knives these days that cuts love into 
hash ; it's some other woman. 

Silas. There's no other woman can win me. 

{Goes up c.) 

Ma. The measliest vampire going wouldn't waste 
the effort. {Comes down i..) 



UNCERTAIN SILAS Q 

Susan. Aw, Ma., don't be so hard on poor Si. 
When is the new summer boarder coming? 

Ma. She ought to be here now. I heard the train 
blowing ten minutes ago. 

Silas {looking off at c). Gee whilHker — smither- 
eens, looka the peach ! 

{Enter Ysobel, c, carrying suit-case.) 

YsoBEL. I really beg your pardon. I'm looking 
for Mrs. Sweet. 

Ma. Well, you're looking in the right direction. 
I'm her. 

YsoBEL {coming down l. and extending her hand), 
I am Ysobel Le Clair. 

(Ma shakes hands.) 

Ma. This is my daughter, Susan, 
Ysobel. I'm so delighted. 
Susan. Pleased to meetchu. 

(Ma makes no move to introduce Silas, up r. C, 
who is staring open-mouthed.) 

Ysobel. Is this your husband ? 

Ma. Lord, no. That's something the cat brought 
in. 

Susan. Now, Ma. {To Ysobel.) This is my 
friend, Silas Sorghum. 

(Silas bows awkwardly and approaches Ysobel.) 

Ysobel {up l. c). Oh, I am so glad to know you, 
Mr. Sorghum. 

{She drops suit-case and holds Silas' hands.) 

Silas {innocently). Be ye, honest? 
Ysobel {with mock seriousness) . Ch, if you could 
but read my poor heart. 

{She looks so soidfidly into Silas' eyes that he is 
hypnotically drawn to her, and his lips are seriously 
near her own, when she flirts her head away, 
snatches up her suit-case and exit through door, l., 
laughing. ) 



10 UNCERTAIN SILAS 

Silas {drawing deep hreatli). Pore little woman! 

{He goes l. and stares through the door dreamily.) 

Ma {scornfidly). No knife can cut our love in 
two, but, oh you summer boarder! 

{Goes R. and exit. If the setting is exterior this exit 
is at L., into house. Susan goes up r. to couch and 
weeps softly. After a bit, Silas turns and dis- 
covers her.) 

Silas. Why, Susan ! What'n the world's the mat- 
ter? 

Susan. N-n-n-nothing. 

Silas. You're cryin'. 

Susan. I'm n-n-not c-c-cryin'. Oh, boo, hoo, hoo. 

Silas. Honest, you are, Susan ! 

{He crosses r., sits down beside her, and attempts to 
put his arm about her. She evades his caress, rises 
and goes c.) 

Susan {hotly). I am not cry'mg, I tell you, and 
what is more, I'd never cry on your hateful old ac- 
count, and you're a heartless deceiver, and I never 
did love you and I never will, and you've broken my 
poor little heart in two. 

{She starts to go l., but Silas gets in her path.) 

Silas. Ye ain't gonna leave me in anger, are you, 
Susan ? 

{He attempts a caress, and Susan gives him a resound- 
ing slap on the cheek.) 

Susan. Out of my path, you vampire in breeches ! 

(Silas falls back, astounded, and rubs his cheek. 
Susan militantly marches past him and goes to door, 
meeting Ysobel, who enters l.) 

YsoBEL. Not going, are you, dear? (Susan point- 
edly ignores her, and exits through door, r., slamming 
it viciously. Y^sobel looks after her in amasement 
and then notices Silas, zvho has come down c, still 



UNCERTAIN SILAS II 

rubbing his cheek. She walks down to his right side.) 
What's consuming Susan? 

Silas (brightening up at sound of Ysobel's voice). 
She's jealous. 

YsoBEL. Of who? 

Silas. Of you. 

YsoBEL. Oh, I didn't know she was your sweet- 
heart. 

Silas. She ain't. 



YsoBEL. Then why ? 

Silas. She was — you is. 

YsoBEL. Oh, you great strong handsome man ! I 
just know you're going to make me perfectly wild over 
you and throw me over for some new love ! 

Silas. No sir — I mean, no ma'am. When I love a 
girl, I stick to her through thick and thin. 

(YsoBEL retreats up r., sits on couch, and invites Silas 
ivith a coquettish shyness. Ulien he sits beside her, 
she nestles her head on his shoidder, pidls his arm 
around her waist, and rubs his cheek softly Silas 
is transported.) 

YsoBEL. Oh, you're so masterful. 

Silas. I alius was this way. (Ysobel gently drazvs 
Silas' head down until his lips meet hers.) Gosh, 
don't that taste good ! 

Ysobel {dreamily). I just love diamonds. 

Silas (aside). I guess I better not go into this 
thing too goldarned deep. 

Ysobel. And I just adore an automobile ! 

Silas (brightening). Me too! I got a Ford. 

Ysobel. I said automobiles. 

Silas. Yeh, I know. I said I got one. 

Ysobel. A Ford, I think you said. 

Silas. Aw, now you quit joshing. Tell you what 
ril do — ril go home, put on my Sunday clothes, and 
take you for a spin. Whadda ye say to that ? 

Ysobel. Don't forget the gasoline. (They rise.) 

Silas. Well — good-bye. 

Ysobel. Hurry back. 



12 UNCERTAIN SILAS 

Silas. I will — won't be gone two minutes. Good- 
bye. 

{He shifts from one foot to the other in bashful 
embarrassment. ) 

YsoBEL. Beat it, darling. 

Silas {coyly). Ain't you forgot nothin'? 

YsoBEL. Not yet, but if you don't start away from 
here, I'm gonna forget that I'm a lady. 

Silas {taken aback). I'll — I'll be right back. 

YsoBEL. Pump up all the tires. 

Silas. I will^ — good-bye. 

YsoBEL. See that the radiator's full. 

Silas. I will — good-bye. 

YsoBEL {exasperated). Good-bye! (Silas hesi- 
tates a moment, then exit, c, murmuring zveakly 
"good-bye." Ysobel drops back to couch.) And 
this is the gay, fashionable resort that my savings from 
the ribbon counter pay for. {Looks off in direction 
taken by Silas.) Well, I hate to take' Susan's beau, 
but I'm a young thing, and I've got to get something 
for my money. {Enter Ma Sweet, r., zvith a pan of 
potatoes, ignoring Ysobel. She sits on chair down r., 
and starts peeling. Ysobel rises and comes to c.) 
Really, I must change to my motoring costume. (Ma 
grunts.) When Mr. Sorghum returns with the motah, 
tell him I will be down in one teeny minute, and for 
him not to run off. 

Ma {sourly). You couldn't drive him off with a 
shotgun. (Ysobel laughs lightly and exit, l. Ma 
vigorously peels potatoes in silence. Susan enters, l., 
comes down l. and sits listlessly. Ma looks at her 
over the top of her glasses and keeps on peeling. 
Susan begins to zveep silently. Ma stands it as long 
as she can, and then gets up, places pan in the chair, 
and going to Susan, takes her in her arms.) There, 
there, honey— don't you cr}^ about a lazy good-for- 
nothing like Silas Sorghum. 

Susan. He ain't no good-for-nothing, either, — that 
woman just naturally hypnotized the poor boy. 



UNCERTAIN SILAS I3 

Ma. And the " poor boy " lapped it up like a kitten 
laps up milk! 

Susan. Oh, I'm so miserable. I wish I could die. 
I can't live without my Si ! 

Ma. Well, in that case, I guess it's up to Mother. 
Now listen, honey, no city gal living can put it over 
your Ma, so don't you worry your little head. Your 
puddin'-headed lover will be back on the job before 
night. 

Susan. Oh, if I could only believe it ! 

Ma. Leave it to me. 

Susan. Here comes Si in his machine. 

Ma. Yes, comin' to take Miss Le Claire out for 
a ride. You run and put them potatoes in the cabbage. 

(Susan goes r., picks up the pan and carries it to 
door R. ) 

Susan. Oh, Mother, I'll never be happy without 
him. 

Ma. You'll never be happy with him, either, but 
run along, honey. Don't let him see you with them 
red eyes. (Susan looks longingly off up c, and with 
a deep sigh exits through door, r. Sound of emer- 
gency brake being applied without. Enter Silas, c, 
dressed in " store clothes," cellidoid collar, patent four- 
in-hand tie on crooked, tan derby hat too small for 
him, and tan shoes, likewise too small, causing him to 
limp. Ma, down l. ) Humph ! All dressed up like 
a horse's neck ! 

Silas. Where's Miss — uh — Miss — uh, Whatchu- 
maycaller ? 

Ma. Miss Whatchumaycaller is dressing. She 
said she'd be through in a minute. That was quarter 
of an hour ago, so she ought to be here in about fifteen 
minutes. You'd better sit down and take the load 
off your feet. 

Silas. Thank ye, ma'am. {He sits on couch up r. ) 

Ma. I've got to make bread, so I'll ask you to 
amuse yourself. 

Silas. Yessum, thank you, ma'am. (Exit Ma at 
R. Silas sits in painful silence. He removes his hat 



14 UNCERTAIN SILAS 

carefully, and lays it on the ground beside him; sighs, 
straightens his tie, runs his finger between his collar 
and neck, and sighs. Leans over and rubs his shoes 
and groans. He imfastens his shoes, and with a guilty 
look around the room eases them off Jiis feet. He 
sighs a sigh of relief.) I generally wear tens, I can 
wear elevens, but these are twelves, and darned if they 
don't hurt. 

(He lies down on the couch and after a few seconds, 
he begins snoring. Ma enters, r., zvith a sifter full 
of flour in her hands. ) 

Ma. Guess you might as well stay to supper 



(An especially hearty snore interrupts her, and she 
walks up c, then r. c. and stands beside the hammock 
and gaces thoughtfully at him.) The Lord has cer- 
tainly delivered you into my hands. 

{She looks around carefidly to see if there is any one 
watching, and then sifts a quantity of flour on Silas' 
face and feet, rubbing it gently with her hand. 
YsoBEL enters, l. Ma hastily conceals the sifter 
behind her.) 

YsoBEL. Has Silas returned? 

(Ma, up c, points to the couch. Ysobel crosses r. to 
Silas. Ma comes dozvn l. and slides the sifter un- 
der table or bench. Ysobel starts back.) 

Ma. What's ailing ye? 

Ysobel. Oh, Mrs. Sweet — he's pale as a sheet ! 

(Ma zvalks up r. to the couch.) 

Ma. He does look sickly, don't he? 

Ysobel. Oh, and his feet are pale too! 

Ma. Good heavens ! He's got the hoof and mouth 
disease ! 

Ysobel. Why, I thought that was a cattle disease. 

]Ma. It is ; he must have caught it throwing the 
bull. 

(Comes down r., smiling. Silas stretches his arms. 



UNCERTAIN SILAS I 5 

yazvns and sits up. When he sees Ysobel, his face 
breaks into a ghastly grin.) 

Silas. Gee, I musta fell asleep. (He gets up and 
takes a step toward Ysobel, who screams in fright 
and retreats up l.) What's the matter? 

Ysobel. Don't you come near me. 

Silas. Gee, you am't angry 'cause I took a little 
cat nap, is ye? [He tries to take her hand, and she 
runs dozvn l. He conies down r. and looks at Ma in 
perplexity.) What's the matter, Mrs, Sweet? 

(Ma draivs him aside and says in a confidential tone.) 

Ma. That's the way all women behave when they 
love a man. She wants you to make out like you're 
wild about her and pursue her. 

Silas. Is that it? 

Ma. The wilder you pursue, the more she'll love 
you. 

(Silas fixes on Ysobel a baleful glare and shakes his 
fist at her.) 

Silas (dramatically). You think to escape me, me 
proud beauty, but I'm a desperate man, and you shall 
be mine. (He turns to Ma.) How's that? 

Ma. Fine ! Now pursue her. 

(Silas goes after Ysobel in firm, heavy strides, and 
she runs around table or bench, then up r. and 
around couch.) 

Ysobel (screaming). Help! Help! Help! (Silas 
quickens his pace and follows her, grozuling in zvhat 
he believes to be an effective display of passion. 
Around and around they go — faster and faster. Silas 
finally falls over the couch and while he is picking 
himself up Ysobel runs to Ma, dozvn r., for protec- 
tion. Silas comes dozvn r. c. ) Don't you dare touch 
me, you long, gawky country bumpkin. I hate you 
worse than a snake. I never did like you. I was 
just playing with you to pass the time, but Vm going 
to leave here on the next train, and if you so much as 
look at me from now until train time, I'll have you 



l6 UNCERTAIN SILAS 

shot. (Silas falls back.) Take my advice and stick 
to your country girl. Believe me, if she ever sees a 
real guy, you'll lose her. 

( Takes a step toward him. He falls back still further. 
She sweeps past him, and goes to door l.) 

Silas (following). Aw! Ysobel! 
YsoBEL. Shut up. 

(Exit, L.) 

Ma. I do love those gentle dispositions. 

(Susan enters r. and comes to c.) 

Silas. I never did like her from the first moment I 
laid eyes on her. 

Ma". What ? 

Silas. No, ma'am. I mistrusted her from the 
first. (Goes to Susan, c.) Besides, I love Susan so 
much that no knife can cut our love in two, can it, 
Susan? (Susan looks at her mother in wonder.) 

Ma. Ma has delivered the goods as per agreement. 

Susan. But how ? Oh, Si, what in the world have 
you got on your face? 

(She zvipes flour off his face with her apron.) 

Silas. Well, whadda ye know about that? 
Ma. I'll never tell you. 
Silas. Let's get married, Susan! 
Susan. Oh, Si ! Are you sure you w^on't love no 
one else but me? 

Silas. You betchuh ! 

Ma (aside). Not while I'm on the job, he won't. 

Susan Silas 
Ma 

CURTAIN 



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